GearEssentials

We know. We've been dabbling in a lot of bondage lately. (Dear vanilla followers, please forgive us. We were where you are once too. But we are exploring our boundaries.) Today's newsletter, which many of you have already received, is entitled Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down....Please.

We have been experimenting--can we put the blame on our naughty friends? Mom always said be careful of who you hang around with. They could be a bad influence! And guess what? They ARE!

But we are realizing that some things that mom thought were naughty are fun and just plain feel good!

We've written about blindfolds and sensory deprivation (see our blog from 14 January 2014). Studies show that when we take one of our five senses away, the others step in to compensate. So if your vision is suddenly restricted, your senses of smell, hearing, taste and touch become much more intense. For many this translates into an even better sexual experience.

For a very long time the concept of bondage was taboo for me. I believed it was demeaning. Shouldn’t making love and the act of sex be about celebrating life and love? Then I started noticing that in many of the pictures of bondage I saw the guys who were tied up had raging hard-ons! Obviously they weren’t necessarily finding bondage to be demeaning. They were excited and were showing it. This was pleasurable for them. Isn't that what sex is about?

What is Bondage?

Since the international best-seller Fifty Shades of Grey hit the mass consciousness, there has been a huge interest in BDSM. But what is it? Also known as ligotage, it is the consensual bondage, tying or restraining of a partner (or partners) for erotic or somatosensory stimulation. This is accomplished by using cuffs, police-style handcuffs, straps, leather, rope, tape, bandages or other restraints.

 

In Bondage: Hard Dick on the Rack with a Grip C Ring by gear essentials

 

Why do people do it?

Pleasure can (and should) be shared by both parties. The active partner (the one doing the tying or shackling) may gain pleasure from the passive (the one restrained) partner’s submission and a feeling of a transfer of power and control. Studies have shown that many professionals in positions of immense power find BDSM to be an excellent way to unwind, let go and get off.

The active partner can also get off visually by seeing the passive partner tied up and apparently helpless.

The passive partner often gains intense tactile pleasure due to the reduction of some of their senses (such as being blindfolded for example) as well as from a feeling of helplessness and immobility. In addition, there is a sense that they are not responsible for any of the activities that are going on. Those shouldering intense shame or guilt around certain sexual practices can find this to be immensely freeing, sexually exciting and gratifying.

In all BDSM activities, it is highly recommended that you have a ‘safe’ word. This means that if the activity takes you to a place where you are afraid of permanent harm you can say a word and the active partner will release you. BDSM should be completely based on trust in your partner. Discuss proposed activities beforehand (or not—if that is your turn-on!)

 

In Bondage: Balls (& Wrists, Nips & Ankles) Wrapped Up
16 Oz. (1” Bandwidth) Ball Stretcher by gear essentials

This guy may be in sensory overload! Not only are his ankles and wrists in shackles but he has clamps on his nipples, a butt plug up his ass (massaging his prostate) and a 16 ounce ball weight around his ball sac. We can’t see his face but he may have a blindfold and ball gag in his mouth as well. (Frankly I would be dizzy face-down on the rug like this.)

Obviously his movements are restricted, but the butt plug is gently stroking his prostate (the male G-spot) with every twitch of his body. Hopefully someone is touching and teasing him a bit while he is in this very vulnerable position. Tweaks on his nipples will send shivers of erotic tension and pleasure down his spine into the core of his genitals where his cock will vibrate to life in response. His ass will twitch causing his prostate to be seductively stroked by the butt plug. That stroking gives the sensation of being on the edge of orgasm so another warm glow of sexual sensations starts to radiate from his core. His balls are feeling the tug and twist of the delicious ball weight.

One of the turn-ons with bondage is that you have no control. You don’t have any control of what sexual activities you engage in or when you cum. This can be extremely freeing. In this position, the active partner will likely engage in some edging—the act of stimulating you to the point where you are on the edge of orgasm—and then backing off. Combined with the butt plug and the ball weight this becomes an incredible experience.

When he is finally free to have an orgasm, it will be delayed because his balls cannot retract up into his body prior to cumming. This means his orgasm will be more intense—and many guys report that they shoot more and further when wearing a ball stretcher! In fact, when he finally has his orgasm—after experiencing all of these intense stimuli—it will be off-the-charts intense!

While the picture above is definitely showing a bondage scene, for most men a ball weight has nothing to do with bondage (even though it looks like an instrument of torture to many!) The weight of it bobbing around your ball sac as you go through your day is intensely arousing. It feels amazing and gives a concrete sense of your sexuality—and sensuality. When fucking it bounces off your partner with every thrust of your cock giving yet another highly erogenous point of contact. Many couples report back that they won’t even consider having sex without it any more.

So whether you are into heavy bondage, completely vanilla or just experimenting like me, a ball weight (and some restraints) can make your life AND your sex life even better. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on any of the good stuff life has to offer! So tie me up, tie me down…please!

 

gear essentials…Sex is Better here! ENJOY!

 

WHERE TO FIND IT:

 

(Photos re-blogged from Tumblr.)

Written by Jay — January 23, 2014

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