Marlene Dietrich once said: "To be completely woman you need a master, and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long."
She said this several generations ago and I suspect opinion has changed in the interim. However, it is still true that without respect, a relationship (gay, straight or poly) is eventually doomed.
There are those of us who yearn to be dominated or mastered. Look at the recent popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey. This demonstrates that there is a huge population longing to let go and be dominated in a safe space. There is a huge sense of freedom involved in being tied up or pinned down and ravished! It allows the ravishee to let go, be irresponsible (hopefully in a safe way) and just enjoy. As the one being ravished, you don't have to be the lover--just be loved. For those of us raised in religious shame, it can also be a release from internalized guilt thereby allowing us to relax and enjoy the amazing sensations of love.
Your lovemaking may include being tied down, strung up or handcuffed. Do what feels comfortable and safe with your partner. Some enjoy using riding crops, paddles, feathers or just the creativity of their own mouths to gently raise the sexual tension with their partner.
Restrained, Weighted & Ringed in the Imperial by gear essentials
A great first step to enjoying this experience is the use of a blind fold. This can be as simple as a bandana wrapped around your head. The first time I experienced this was at a Body Electric weekend workshop. Early in the weekend I was blindfolded and surrounded by men. Slowly my clothes were peeled off. Deprived of the sense of sight, my other senses were heightened. I could feel the men moving around me. I smelled each unique man musk as each leaned in to remove an item from my body. I jumped with electricity running down my spine and exploding in my groin with the casual brush of the back of a hand against my flesh. I was deprived of the ability to read body language and facial expressions as my body--and soul--were slowly exposed to the men around me. Deprived of any signs of judgment regarding the zit on my back or extra weight around my stomach I could let it all go and just be in the moment. This is a rare gift for someone like me--my brain tends to always be racing. This process allowed me to just 'be'. It was an experience that was repeated several times over the weekend and each time I felt myself letting go and relaxing more and more.
When surrendering to your partner it is a good idea to establish a 'safe' word. This basically is a word that, when uttered (screamed, shouted...) results in your being released from the situation. This is wise anytime you are in an emotionally charged setting. (I have a friend who made his safe word 'Uncle'--because he knew he would never say Uncle!) When talking this over with your partner take time to discuss what your expectations, desires and fears are. A sensitive partner will challenge these in a way this is supportive and caring.
Busting Out in His Master C Ring; by gear essentials