Deadly Sexy


Several years ago I made the decision to suspend judgment regarding anyone's fetishes. I realized that we all have a spectrum of activities, behaviors or talismans that excite us and turn us on. For example, I have a friend who gets off on being caned. Several years ago he was being worked over at International Mr. Leather (IML)--I had to leave. I just couldn't watch. Maybe my aversion is because I was spanked as a child. (They do say that the biggest sexual organ we have is our brain.)

Another fetish that confounds me is auto erotic asphyxiation. (I suspect I would have to leave the room for this as well!) Auto erotic asphyxiation is the practice of cutting off air supply to heighten sexual pleasure. I had heard about it but didn't really believe it was anything other than an urban myth until David Carradine's widely publicized death (allegedly) from this in 2009. Suddenly this practice was mainstream.

I debated even blogging about this. The picture below frankly sparked my initial curiosity. My first response when seeing this picture was to emotionally "leave the room." Yet I have to admit there is something very erotic about it. I am also a huge believer in informed discussion and education--oh, and then there's that no judgment thing!

In my research I discovered that auto erotic asphyxiation is a sexual practice that remains very hush-hush. Scientists and psychologists don't like to talk about it because they don't want to give kids ideas. 

However, even if asphyxiation is kept quiet, kids will still figure it out. Mark Clark of the Scottsdale, AZ police department believes "it should be talked about." He adds that after kids discover it "they look for information on how to do it more safely, and they must be told that there is no way to do it safely." Sadly Clark's younger brother died from asphyxiation.

So what makes auto erotic asphyxiation intriguing? When the carotid arteries, located on either side of the neck, are compressed (like when you are strangulated) the quick loss of oxygen to the brain and the build-up of carbon dioxide can increase the feelings of lightheadedness, a loosening of inhibitions and pleasure. For many this can heighten the pleasure of masturbation and orgasm. This state is known as hypoxia and when combined with orgasm the resulting rush is believed to be as powerful as cocaine--and highly addictive as well.

I always wonder how practices like this are discovered. Most of us work very hard to avoid finding our neck in a noose but apparently in the early 17th century folks noticed that men who had been hung got a raging erection and sometimes even blew a wad. provides some interesting information--however, they very much frown on this practice. The author of their article The Highest Price for Pleasure, Martin Downs, writes:

"The vast majority don't mean to kill themselves. They usually devise some kind of rescue mechanism to stop the asphyxiation once they've climaxed. But the fail-safe often fails. For example, they may tie a slip-knot or hang themselves from something that's shorter than they are, so they can simply stand up to stop the strangulation. But they may get so weak and disoriented from lack of oxygen that they can't pull out the knot or stand up, and they pass out and die."

The article goes on to quote Kathrin Passig, a German journalist. Passig conducted a survey to discover why people--and it isn't just men--get into asphyxiation. Some were titillated by movies such as Alfred Hitchcock's Frenzy or TV Westerns showing outlaws being hanged. Others stumbled onto the sensation completely by accident. One person said, "When I was 12 years old, I tried holding my breath for as long as possible and found it sexually stimulating." Another reported: "My girlfriend and I were 13 years old. We had a pillow fight for fun. She suddenly got on top of me and as a sign of victory put her hands around my neck and cried, 'I win!' This was very exciting and I got an erection."

But it is very dangerous--and potentially deadly. Andrew Jenkins, PhD, professor of health education at Central Washington University, said: "It is, at the very least, damaging, and at the worst, absolutely lethal." Downs adds, "Even if you don't have an accident and die, asphyxia causes permanent brain damage over time."

Jay Wiseman, author of S & M 101:  A Realistic Introduction and authority on auto erotic asphyxiation, said, "It's always life-threatening to a greater or lesser degree." Solo practice is always discouraged but even sexual hanging incorporated into S & M play with your partner is dangerous. Just because there is someone there to let you down or loosen the rope doesn't mean it's a safe practice. While in the high of asphyxiation you are deprived of oxygen so your blood chemistry is altered. This can easily trigger cardiac arrest. "The probability of a successful resuscitation is pretty low," says Wiseman.

These are pretty spooky words on the eve of Halloween.


Deadly Sexy:  In His Surge Cock Ring by gear essentials


Now back to something I know about--cock rings! The deadly sexy stud above is wearing the Surge cockring. The Surge is a light-weight solid aluminum ring that has an exaggerated interior comfort fit for easy work-all-day / play-all-night wear. It's so comfortable that you forget you even have it on. Yet it still keeps the blood flow in your prick so you stay thicker and harder for the long haul. Even when you aren’t hard and horned you will still maintain a nice (and noticeable) chubby. It makes for a very good looking dick! 

David from Brooklyn, NY, adds:  I've always been a big fan of Gear Essentials cockrings, and have a nice collection of them. I usually like some weight with a cockring, but thought I'd go for something different with this one - also bought the matching glans ring, and the two of them together make an awesome pair. The Surge is fantastic - I thought I wouldn't like the almost weightlessness of it, but turns out I love it. Like Andrew Christian underwear, the design of the Surge is so well thought-out that you wouldn't even know you're wearing a cockring - except for that great feeling that you know you are wearing one. Also, it looks cool, with classy styling in its appearance. And unlike the heavier pieces where you need a break from the weight, this one can easily be worn 24/7.” 


Obviously, I don't know much about asphyxiation. If any of you reading this have experience, please share so we can create an informed dialogue.


WHERE TO FIND IT:  Surge Cock Ring:


(Photo submitted by customer.)


Reference:  Downs, M. (2005). The Highest Price for Pleasure. Retrieved 30 October 2015 from  



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