We get the craziest stuff in our in-boxes!  Thanks to Tom for passing "Useless Penis Facts" on to us!  (If anyone knows the author's name, let us know and we will credit him/her.)



Vintage:  Naked Men Weight Lifting, A Variety of Penises

(Look, Mom!  No man-scaping!)


*Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

*Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

*Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

*Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons


Faster Than a Speeding Ejaculation!

*Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

*Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

*Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

*Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

*Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

*Average length when erect: 5.1


Big Muscles....

*Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

*Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches

*Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)

Big Naked Muscles...Big Naked Dick


*Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet

*Most arousing time of day/season for a man: Early morning/fall

*Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight

*Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, wheat germ

*Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%  (Okay, who lied!)

*Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

Big Dicked Ginger Boy Masturbating...I'm Not Seeing Any Guilt Here...


*Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

*Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks

*Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

*Average # of erections during the night: 9

*Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100


One Condom.  Slightly Used


*Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm

*Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm

*Thickness of plastic wrap: .0127 mm


Is THIS Where Babies Come From?! 


*# of times condoms are thicker than plastic wrap: Almost 6

*In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet.

*Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste.

*Dairy products can create a foul taste; the taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest.

*Acidic fruits and alcohol (except processed liquors) give it a pleasant and sugary taste. Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown, etc. (drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun)

*Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie.

Naked Boys Prove That Showers Cause Dick Shrinkage

*Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower.

*It is common for men to wake up with 'morning wood,' a name for an a.m. Erection.

*Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn't have sex, is totally false.





[All photos re-posted from Tumblr.  Please let us know if you are aware of their origin.]

Written by Jay — September 11, 2012



First of all, you have what you have, and that’s all there is to that. But as for the premature elocujatian, make it a ritual habit to get exercise each time before attempting to have sex. The more oxygenated your blood stream, the stronger (stiffer) your erections will be and the more stamina you will have. Wearing condoms will help somewhat as will masturbating before you attempt to have sex with your wife, but knowing your own body and its responses is the best remedy you can have. Get in the habit of squeezing and releasing your PCG muscles periodically throughout the day .(this is the muscle that restricts the flow of urine, and developing this muscle to its peak will allow your member to jump at will. This will also give you greater control over your own orgasmic responses and will increase its intensity when you are ready to come.). Lastly, become aware of which positions give you the opportunity to cruise for long periods of time, and which ones will quickly wipe you out. Once you know that, avoid the wipe outs until you’re ready to let it go. You’ll be fine. (Besides, there’s a lot more to having good sex than just using your penis. Become as well-rounded as you can.) Good luck.

January 20 2013 at 02:01 AM


Goldy—thanks for the reminder that we need to exercise our dicks as much as we exercise our biceps and brains! Great advice!

June 29 2013 at 03:06 PM


*Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

*Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

*Average # of calories in a can of semen: 504

*Average # of calories in a teaspoon of Dr. Pepper: 2.08333_

(If it’s a 12 ounce can)

March 10 2016 at 01:03 PM

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